Update 12/17/12

These past few months have been going by and Mister Ian is just getting bigger and bigger.  December has been his busiest Doctor month since he left the hospital on Memorial Day, and I am happy to report that all of his test have come back with positive results.  Up until this weekend, he has been in perfect health.  These past couple of days though he has had a low grade fever and every time I think it's gone, I might get a little spike.  I'm glad he's stayed out of the 100's today though, he's just been borderlining.

I'll tell you one thing, this fever is definitely not bringing out his sweet side.  The first night I didn't get any sleep at all.  Last night was better but we still battled.  Tonight, the fight was shorter since he's feeling a lot better.  I think he's teething.  I have read that fevers have nothing to do with teething, but I have also read that a lot of people don't agree with that.  I am one of those that don't agree because when I was growing up, my little brothers and cousins had fevers when they were teething so I'm going to rely more on past experience for this one.

It has been a while since I've given an update on Ian, but between him, school, visitors, and daily life distractions; I have been completely tied up.  I feel like I've abandoned all of my websites, Twitters and Facebook pages.  It is so sad.  I'm going to try to do better.  I'm putting myself back on a schedule so I can use my time more productively.  It is imperative I do this if I want to accomplish all of my tasks on a regular consistent basis.  Bare with me and send Ian your prayers for a speedy recovery.  My little Angel will be back to acting like an Angel as soon as he's feeling better, but when your dealing with teething, it's anyone's guess of how long the process will actually take.

Update 10/30/12

My baby loves fruits and vegetables.  When I was younger I would not eat it.  I didn't like anything green especially, but not Mr. Ian.  He loves peas and spinach and squash as vegetables and he loves any fruit, especially mangoes.  He is not the biggest fan of meat though, especially ham.  I may have a vegetarian on my hands.  I'm cool with it.  He's not picky about anything but meat so I'm happy.  He's already better than me.  He tries to hold the spoon and feed himself, but he's not the best at that because he almost always chokes himself.  I'm in the everything for his mouth phase, I'm sure that will last a while :-| Happy feedings everyone.

Update 10/24/12

My lovely Mr. Ian got frustrated with me today because when he tried biting my knee, he couldn't get a good grip on it.  My mother said I am going to make him talk before his time because he is always baby babbling at me.  He is moving around a whole lot and he loves the outdoors.  It's safe to say his favorite color is red at this point.  When he goes on his walks, he loves looking at cars go by and his favorite ones that make him break his neck are red ones.  Same thing with women, he's such a little charmer already.  Every day I look at him, I see more things that he's going to do that's going to give me problems later on.  I have to get him in check, but right now as hard as I fight, he is winning, lol. :)  Happy Days!!

Lost Updates 10/21/12

It's been too long since I updated you on Ian and he has been having some great milestones.  First of all, I would like to thank those of you who voted for me in the Harlequin ~ So You Think You Can Write Competition.  Even though I did not place, the experience was a great one.  It forced me to finish my second book in the Ansheniu Series that I had put on hold since I got pregnant and now I am working on the third book.  November is #NaNoWriMo and I will be participating in that so I can make a big dent in the third book, but it will not be as demanding as the last one was for me.  With Harlequein's Comp I was writing around 5k words a day and between that, school, and Ian, I had no time to even think about anything else.  I really wanted to keep up to date with Ian's accomplishments though.  This is like my journal for him, something he'll have to look back on for a long long time.  Other private thoughts like those about his dad for example I have written in a book, when he's old enough he can have that diary I started from when I was pregnant.

Enough about me, in the last month Mr. Ian has been chatting up a storm, spitting everywhere, rolling over, trying to crawl by sliding his face across his floor pad, trying to walk because he doesn't like being lower than everyone or anything else, eating more solid foods, and laughing, talking & crying louder and louder everyday as his voice changes.  He is a spectacular boy and he is trying to do everything at once, which is funny in itself.  When he's unhappy he start's calling out ma ma over and over again.  I would like to think he's calling me already, but he's to young to know what he's saying :-)  I'll just enjoy the moments though. He is still kicking my computer when he thinks I am spending to much on it and he discovered he really like pulling my hair, a lot :-)  I am still his favorite person, but i find myself wondering how long will that last? :-)

He has grown so much, already over 15lbs.  I remember still what he looked like at birth being 3lbs and he's changed so much.  He has more padding on his body, so he's becoming more doughy.  His hair is changing too.  He's loosing all his baby hair and the new growth has come in like peach fuzz.  He just some hairs hanging on around the perimeter that make his hair still look full till you turn him around :-)  At first I thought he was pulling out his hairs, but there were just to many strands all over his pillows, his face, and my shoulder to be from pulling.  He's fussy and feisty too, just like mommy :-)

Tooting My Own Horn

I feel pretty accomplished these days.  I have been working my but off writing page after page getting closer and closer to the last page of my new book.  I have been taking care of Mr. Ian and his demands (with some help from time to time) and doing my school work and cooking and cleaning too.  I am tooting my own horn because I feel good.  I have one more chapter to write tonight, Ian permitting. :)

Well, just saying hi.  Back to work for me.  Stay blessed everyone.

Update 9/24/12

Between school and Ian, I hardly have time to do anything else.  Being that I just said that, I have to add one more big task to that list.  I have also entered a writing competition and have to finish writing my latest addition to the Ansheniu Series ASAP.

I have 50,000 more words to go and then I have to edit the whole thing before I submit it on October 12th.  As a matter of fact, I should be working on it now instead of writing on my blog but I just had to give an update.  After mid October, I should be posting regularly again.  As regular as I can between Ian and school.

Mr. Ian is a mess.  These days he is laughing harder, crying louder, and fussing as much as he can when he doesn't get his way.  He keeps me busy.  He is a joy. He is sitting up a lot more too.  He doesn't like to be cradled as much.  He talks non stop too, my grandmother swears he'll be talking so I can understand his words soon.  I think he gets the motor mouth from his father, lol.

Ian's Stage found on Gerber.com

No Ice-Cream for Baby

I was bad yesterday.  I took the baby for a walk last night and when we came back home, I decided to indulge in a Red Velvet Cake Ice-cream Cone.  It was very delicious by the way.  I also let Mr. Ian lick on it for a little while too.  I should not have done that.  My poor baby was yapping out of control last night.  It was funny, cute, and all that jazz.  He was so hyper and he didn't have all that much.  He was yelling and fussing and laughing, all very loudly.  I let him tire himself out playing so he could go to sleep.  When he woke up this morning, he was still talking up a storm.

What I have to look forward to is never giving him sugar, ever.  He will do dried fruits like I try to do for myself and that will be all the sweets he needs.  Dried mangos, apricots, and dates are very sweet so he won't be missing anything.  I promise I won't do anything like that to my baby again.  You had to see him go.  If he could walk, he would have been running all around the house.  My mother told me not to let him have any.....I should have listened to her, ha ha.

Butterflies

When Ian and I were in the hospital for all those weeks, I learned about their significance of butterflies.  I have never been so scared of something so delicate before until when I first made it out of ICU and went to my recovery floor. My nurse told me that all the doors with butterflies on them meant their baby passed away.  On my wing there were 10 rooms and on my first night there, I was one of 3 rooms without a butterfly on my door.

Any other time I would remark on how beautiful a butterfly is, but this time around I didn't want to see a butterfly at all.  Right now, I still don't know how I feel about them.  All I can say is, I used to love them.  Every day for all those weeks, the first thing I would look for was a butterfly on my door or Ian's.  He had a high turn over rate of roommates too.  It was a crazy time.  His birth, but most importantly his life, was meant to be.  I couldn't ask for more than that.  He is my sunshine.

I would like to say that I am very happy I never got that butterfly tattoo I was thinking about in my youth.  If I did, I would have to start drawing my cover up tattoo asap.  Be blessed everybody and count your blessings, I know I do.

Update 9/12/12

My dear little boy has decided he wants to be a star I think.  I am creating a monster with all the photos and videos I take of him, because he loves looking at them.  Now he likes looking at himself in the mirror too.  He is too funny with his antics.  Sometimes he tries to act like he doesn't see the camera or he'll stop talking for a bit when the video is rolling, but he sees it.  He knows what he's doing, lol.  Such a cutie.

He started doing something I don't like.  When he doesn't get his way, he's already started stiffening his body and throwing it back.  I start to get flashes of bad kids acting up in stores embarrassing their parents.  Could that be my future?  I hope not.  Right after he does that though, he gives me the biggest smile and shows off his dimples like that would stop me from fussing at him.  He's right though, he knows me so well.

Mr. Ian is a ladies man.  Every female that came through our doors to visit us this past week he was smiling and cooing at.  Could he be trying to sweet talk them too already?  I had a dream that he was six and there were all these little girls coming to visit me and complain about him not being their boyfriend or being to many of their boyfriend.  Premonition for the future I guess.  All I can do is teach him how to respect women and respect himself and hope & pray that it's enough.

Update 9/6/12

Well as suspected, Mr Ian did not do well with me being away from him for an extended period of time today.  I see we are going to have problems.  He chose to not eat while I was gone today and when we reunited, he fell asleep with his body draped across my stomach.  He is a cutie, but we are going to have to work on his separation issues now before he makes me look like a bad parent later on in life.

One day at a time with him.  He doesn't like my phone anymore either.  I think he craves attention.  He acts like he doesn't get any from me, but he has me all day every day until today.  He loves watching his own videos, but only actively participates when he feels like it.  It's like he's a teenager already.  my baby.

First Day of School

I should be asleep right now, but I am getting myself together for my first day of school tomorrow.  I may be having some withdrawals too, because Mr. Ian will not be to happy with me for not being available to him as he likes.  He seems to think he is the ruler of this Kingdom and in many ways he is.  My little man.

I am excited to be on the path to improving our future, but it is a long road that I have to take one day at a time.  Patience is key in life.  I really need to get on a schedule I can follow to the best of my ability.  I won't be able to follow it exactly as it's created because with a baby priorities shift and it is not just me, but it will give me guidelines and help me to get my tasks completed as they should be.

I will end this short note now and go to bed.  Hopefully Ian has a good night's sleep so I'm not to tired tomorrow and hopefully he won't take our separation too hard.  He gets clingy and cranky whenever he can't get to me for long periods of time.  I guess he loves me......

Childhood Milestones

I decided to look online to find out how Ian's developing compared to other kids his age.  He is close to being right on track according to the development chart.   He is currently 4 months and can do everything but hold his head steady.  He is doing better everyday with that though, I see his great improvement from last week til today.  I found this timeline on WebMd that I will share with you now:

Timeline of Childhood Milestones

 

2 Months	Smiles at the sound of your voice and follows you with their eyes as you move around a room
3 Months	Raises head and chest when lying on stomach Grasps objects Smiles at other people
4 Months	Babbles, laughs, and tries to imitate sounds; holds head steady
6 Months	Rolls from back to stomach and stomach to back Moves objects from hand to hand
7 Months	Responds to own name Finds partially hidden objects
9 Months	Sits without support, crawls, babbles "mama" and "dada"
12 Months	Walks with or without support Says at least one word Enjoys imitating people
18 Months	Walks independently, drinks from a cup, says at least 15 words, points to body parts
2 Years	Runs and jumps Speaks in two-word sentences Follows simple instructions Begins make-believe play
3 Years	Climbs well Speaks in multiword sentences Sorts objects by shape and color
4 Years	Gets along with people outside the family Draws circles and squares Rides a tricycle
5 Years	Tells name and address Jumps, hops, and skips Gets dressed Counts 10 or more objects

I Love Diaper Derm

 

When Ian was in the NICU, we were introduced to this wonderful bum cream, Diaper Derm.  It is so light and non greasy.  I have tried many products that say they are non greasy, but this is the first that truly isn't.  We have 3 different types of diaper rash creams here that we were gifted, but the only one I love is this one.  The others leave a little greasy film on my fingers.  This is definitely a good product.

Diaper Derm isn't sold in stores here in Florida, I checked, but I did find them online.  For your baby's bum, you should try Diaper Derm.  It is only $6.50 a jar and you can get it at www.diaperderm.com.

Have a great weekend all. :)

Metlife Snoopy Snapshot Challenge

Ian Update 8/30/12

I took Mr. Ian with me to Walmart today and while there, we saw a couple other babies that where 2 and 3 months old.  When I see him next to another baby, he is very slim compared to them.  He is just as long, just not as thick.  His cheeks aren't as fat.  When he has no other baby near him to compare and contrast, he looks a lot bigger than he really is.  He is awesome the way he is.  If he was any bigger, there wouldn't be enough time in the day for me to feed him and do other things.  He is already a handful.

He is starting to drool all over the place.  He still swallows a lot of it, but when he spends the day trying to swallow his fist, everything gets wet.  I'm just waiting for the teething to start.  It's just around the corner I'm sure. 

I start school next Thursday and I'm a little nervous.  I'm confident that I can do it and I will be able to get it done, but it is just the time I am going to have to sacrifice with him.  He already doesn't like it when I'm on the computer trying to write or internet surf.  He kicks are already so strong, he might do some serious damage to my laptop soon.  All about him right?  Right!

He is my favorite person right now.  He makes me laugh all the time.  I am enjoying watching his development and growth.  Cherishing the times!

The Cute Kid Photo Contest

Gerber Baby Contest

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$100,000 Gerber Baby Contest

The first Gerber baby contest ever was in 1928. Since then when you hear “Gerber” you automatically see in your mind’s eye the little adorable baby face on all the Gerber’s products. Gerber baby photo contest did not end there. It went on and continue to this very day. The winner could take home a total of $100,000 plus other goodies like in 2006… Read more

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Great American Photo Contest

8/26/12

Mr. Ian and I have had a pretty busy week/end.  On Saturday, I took him to his first wedding and he looked so cute.  I wish I was able to take pictures, but I left my camera at home and my phone was acting funky.  It is beyond time for an upgrade.

We have been having such a very good time, but now its time for me to get back on schedule.  Ian is not going to like it, but he has to get used to me doing school work when we would usually spend time together.  He is very vocal about his displeasure.

He is getting so big now.  I took him to two of his doctors appointments this past Friday and my little man is 12.5 pounds and 24&1/4 inches.  He is growing healthy and happy.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  Even though we have a few more appointments than fully developed healthy babies, we are right on track to catch up with them.  He is finally on the growth curve, measuring in the 2-5 percentile.

He's trying everything too.  He likes me to hold him up as if he's walking from time to time, if I don't he yells at me.  I'm afraid my dream of him walking before he can crawl might possibly come true.  He tries to crawl, but gets frustrated if his foot doesn't catch anything and he doesn't move forward.  His protesets are cute.  My big boy :).

Update 8/20

Ian and I had a great weekend and day today.  We've been to the pool a couple of times and he really likes the water.  We also went to the beach for the first time this weekend and had a great time.  I don't know what I'm going to do with him, but I know that what ever activities he chooses to get in to, I'm on board.

It's been a crazy two weeks for me, and craziest of all is I have enrolled in college once again as a full time student.  Ian does not like me having to much time away from him on the computer.  He still kicks at it when he gets frustrated and I suspect that it is only going to get worse.  I'm cool with it though.  He is the man of my life and I have to make concessions for his tantrums.  Mainly because he doesn't have too many.  I love it.

My Little Swimmer

It's been a busy couple of days with family in from out of town, my work, and taking care of Ian.  I haven't had a chance to write.  Since he's taking a quick nap though, I am sneaking in this post before the weekend. 

I took Mr. Ian to the pool yesterday with his Godsister/Cousin to see how he took to the water.  He loved it.  He was trying to float on his own and if I trusted him to not drink the water (which I don't), he would have tried swimming on his belly too.  He is an awesome baby.

His Godmother took a few pictures of us in the water enjoying ourselves and I will share one with you.  Have a Great weekend everyone.

 

Getting to Know You

I know the getting to know you period with Ian is going to last for the rest of our lives because the more he grows, the more he comes in to his own, and that won't stop.  Right now he tries to talk to me, he smiles and laughs with me, and he fusses at me too.   I love it, it's all funny to me.

We are expecting some visitors that we are excited to see, well that I'm excited to see.  One of his Godmothers and my Goddaughter.  We are going to the pool and the beach and I'm going to see how Ian handles those activities because right now he loves the water when he takes baths.  He cries when I take him out of the water, but I suspect that it's because he doesn't like getting dressed, lol.

More than anyone else he knows who I am.  When it reaches 9pm, he has to be near me or he has a problem.  My family says its because that's around the time I used to leave the NICU every night and he would be looking out for me.  During the day he's fine, as long as your feeding him he has no problem being with you.  He's a man about his stomach, a man after my own heart.

Even though right now he doesn't really understand what I'm telling him when I show him different fruits and vegetables in the kitchen, he'll learn early how to be mommy's little helper in the kitchen.  That is until he grows and gets tired of being attached to my hip.

My Favorite Pump

When I was in the hospital and Ian was in NICU, the lactation counselors brought me a Medela Symphony Breastpump.  I had never seen another pump like it, not in the stores or from what any of my friends had bought when they had their babies.  It looked like the deluxe version of milk extraction.  While in the hospital, I was assigned my own pump and for two weeks my breasts were milk producing machines.  The nurses would ask me if I had other children because with the Symphony, not only did my milk come in fast, it came in heavy.  It could have just been me, but I think it was because of the machine.

As I was to be discharged, I was given the opportunity to take home the Medela Symphony for a low monthly rental.  I jumped on the offer because there is now way I could afford this particular pump on my own.  I researched it and found out the Symphony retails for $1100, which was not in my budget.  The low monthly rental though, worked out to me buying a generic pump that I wouldn't use after the year I plan to pump for anyway, plus it is way better.

I was given as a bonus a manual pump to go along with the Symphony and even it has awesome suction, better than the electric pump but without the workout on your arms.  I love the whole series.  Before I went in to the hospital I kept on hearing about the Ameda system from friends and I'd seen a couple of them, but after experiencing the Symphony I realize my friends missed out.

If you are ever given the opportunity to rent the Medela Symphony Electric Breastpump or if you can outright purchase it, I recommend you do it.  You won't be sorry.  Best breastpump system, hands down.

Single Mom Life

It's Friday night and I am chilling at home with my main man beside me.  He is looking at me make a photo book of him for his uncle, in between his naps.  I decided to make a funny picture book with all his funny faces and some words beneath them.  I think his uncle will like it.  I usually would have made some jewelry during this time, but I don't have enough hands.



My minutes, hours, days, weeks, months are all a blur.  They all flow in to each other as one in the same.  Just me, the man in my life, and my family.  I don't even have to leave the house.  I swear I don't feel like I'm missing anything and especially since it's so hot outside too, the air condition speaks the right language to me.  I like hot, but not 90+ hot every day. 



I question what it will be like to date after Ian and I get the hang of this thing called life.  I haven't done a lot of things since I became pregnant with him and I'm not sure how much I will do now that he's here.  He requires a lot, he takes a lot, and I am more than happy to do everything I can for him.  I think he was yelling at me today though, . I let my grandmother feed him and I guess he thought I was going to do it but when I didn't he seemed to be complaining as he voiced his displeasure then turned away from me so he could get his milk.  It was funny to see.



We are a package deal now, and though I am not even thinking about dating right now, when I do get ready to (maybe sometime next year), I need to have my priorities in order with no additional baggage or short comings.  I don't plan on settling on just anyone so they can be a father figure for Ian, the father role is taken care of.  It's just the husband role is lacking .   Until that situation fills itself, Ian and I will be the best of friends and even after that too. 



In the mean time, my Fridays will be spent making jewelry, watching t.v., pumping, and chilling with my baby.  My joy.  It may not sound like much, but to me it is more than enough.

My Boy(s)

I was pregnant once before with another little boy, but I miscarried half way through my pregnancy.  I didn't have any morning sickness, pains, food aversions or anything when I was carrying that baby.  From the time I became pregnant with Ian however, he came to show me he was here to stay.  With the severe pains and food aversions, he took everything out of me as he grew bigger and stronger every day. 



That did nothing for my nerves though.  I was always worried I would miscarry with him too.  When he was born, I was always afraid the doctors would tell me something tragic everyday I went to visit him in the NICU.  When he was finally able to come home, I watched him like a hawk till he reached his due date and even now still, just not as intense.  I listen to every breath, monitor every elevation in temperature, and I watch for chest rises and falls in the silence.  I pay attention to every item I put in his mouth to see if I might have to use my infant CPR training before I get him to the nearest hospital. 



He is thriving well.  I would joke in the hospital that he was healthier than me.  The sad part is that he was, lol.  My oxigination and blood pressure was a lot worse than his.  Now that we are both doing better, I breathe a little more every day.  My little man is super strong and is man handling me during feeding times, lol.  He's lucky he's such a cutie.

Baked Pineapple Chicken and Potatoes

There was this can of Dole Pineapples that has been in my cupboard for a couple of months now and it was bothering me.  I got tired of looking at it and lusting after the pineapples but not being able to commit to taking the can out and eating it.  Today enough was enough.  I had a whole chicken in the freezer that was taking up space, so I decided to cook that too.  I also cleaned out my potato bucket by using up the potatoes in there that were starting to root (ewww).

Now that I'd clean out my kitchen, lol, I'll share with you how they all came together.

Ingredients:
1 - Whole Chicken
6 potatoes
1/2 can of sliced pineapples
1 - tbsp Backyard Seasoning
1 - tsp Old Bay Seasoning
1 - tbsp Dry Chicken Rub
1 - tbsp minced garlic
1 - tbsp minced onion/green onion
1/4 cup Pineapple Juice

Method:
Wash whole chicken and coat with garlic and onion.  Mix together Backyard, Old Bay, and Dry Rub seasonings and set to side.  Wash potatoes leaving skin on and cut into chunks.  Coat chicken with half of the dried seasonings that was set aside and place in a baking dish.  Use the other half of dried seasonings to coat the potatoes, leaving back a pinch to sprinkle on pineapples.  Pour pineapple juice in baking dish with chicken.  Place potatoes around the base of the chicken in the baking dish.  Sprinkle the remaining seasonings on 4 pineapple slices then place the slices on top of the chicken.  Hold pineapples in place with toothpics.  Cover dish with aluminum foil and place in oven to bake at 375 for 1.5 hrs.  Take foil off for last half hour to let chicken get color.

Inspiration for Ian

One of the meanings of Ian is God is Gracious.  I'm a writer and I like most things literature.  Being that as it may, the reason I chose the name Ian for my son is because of Ian flemming, the famous author of the James Bond series which was loosely based on his life as a Naval Intelligence Officer/Spy.  He was handsome, smart and charasmatic and my son could do worse for a namesake. Besides, it's only the first name. 

Ian flemming has nothing on what my son will be though, or how handsome he will be when he becomes a man.  My baby is killing 'em already.  LLBI(LadiesLoveBabyIan).  Look out 007, baby Ian is coming for your spot.

Too Grown

Ian is trying to hold his head up now.  He is trying to jump around to when you hold him.  He is trying to do everything so fast that I'm afraid I might miss it.  I'm not ready for him to move around for himself because he's going to start getting into things he shouldn't get in to, and I'm not ready for him to start talking because silence will be fleeting. However, I am looking forward to watching him grow up at the same time.  It is inevitable and a gift.

His voice has a little more base in it when he cries and it is a lot louder than how it was when he was in the hospital.  He's a strong little thing too.  He's swung his arms and connected with my face a couple of times :D.  He's even trying to sit up a little bit, but just can't fully balance his head yet.  I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that he learned to walk before he could crawl.  If that dream comes to fruition, I am going to fall out.  He is too grown for his own good already, at 3 months old.

Gift From Simone

I find myself thinking a lot about my cousin who was murdered last year and how much I wish she would be around to meet you, Ian.  Two weeks before I became pregnant, I had a dream that I was in the maternity ward at the hospital visiting Simone.  She had just given birth to a baby boy that looked just like you.  She asked me to take care of the baby because there was no one else to do it.  I thought about it and how there was no one there to help her with the baby.  Everyone else was in Trinidad and she was here in America with me.  I told her I was about to take a trip and I would be back in two weeks, when I got back I would take care of the baby.  She said okay and returned to her hospital bed.

When I woke up, I really did go on a trip and when I came back two weeks later I was pregnant with you.  I strongly believe she brought you to me and I am more grateful to her than you could believe.  I miss her every day.  I wish I could talk to her about you and have her around while you grow, but I guess that will just have to be in spirit, because in flesh it is not to be.

 I feel like you are her son as well as mine sometimes.  With moms like us, you have been birthed with great genes and you will be full of a lot of life, happiness and love.  I truly believe you were her last gift to me too and that you will be greatly blessed.  I don't want to bring you down as you read this, but just know that my heart hurts.  With your birth it's not as despairing, but from time to time it goes there.  Your smile is a bright light and your laughter brings me nothing but extreme happiness.  I know it will only get better with you. 

I can't wait to take you to Trinidad to meet her beautiful kids.  You all will love each other immensely.  I can only hope you will have more time with each other than she and I had.  28years is far too short. 

My Pregnancy

From the time I became pregnant with Ian my body felt him and not in a good way at all.  My first trimester I couldn't eat anything but macaroni and cheese, fruit and fluids only.  Though I wasn't throwing up a lot, I was very nauseous and my appetite was none existent.  Not only that, but it hurt to walk. I was told not to worry about it, it was just round ligament pains.

By the time I got to my second trimester, I was able to eat a few more things and my pains had gotten worse.  It hurt to walk, turn, and just move in general and I was still being told not to worry about the round ligament pains.  Through my doctor's appointments, even though I was hardly eating I learned that I had gained 50 pounds before reaching third trimester.  I lost feeling in my big toe on my left foot.  I also learned I had severe pre-eclampsia.  Every week I would be hospitalized overnight for observation and by the time I got to my 29th week of pregnancy I was hospitalized for the long haul which ended up only being 2 weeks.

On the first day of my 30th week of pregnancy, they delivered Ian via c-section.  He was a little less than 3&1/2 lbs.  He was on every kind of machine and was not allowed to be touched for the first couple of days.  I wasn't able to go see during that time anyway because my blood pressure was still spiking high and I was heavily drugged and not allowed to leave the bed.

When I was finally moved from the WICU to another extended stay room, I was able to go see him for the first time.  He was so tiny and cute.  All the nurses were eating out of his palms already, and he had just been born.

He fought hard to live throughout my pregnancy and when he was finally born, he fought hard to thrive.  He's still thriving and even though we had a few setbacks in the NICU since he was born, he is on the right track to be a fully healthy little man.  I pump breast milk like no body's business because his stomach doesn't tolerate formula, not even human fortified formula, so he gets the best thing in the world for him.  My milk, his liquid gold.

Sleep

I haven't slept much since March/April, a few weeks before Ian was born.  Since that isn't going to change anytime soon, i can only live vicariously through him.  Sleep is his favorite past time.  All I can say is, it must be nice :). 

When I first brought Ian home from the hospital, I would barely sleep (if I did at all).  Reason being was that I would have to look at him and listen to him to make sure he was still alive and breathing.  We slept with the lights on so I could see his chest rise and fall. It's a bit scary beeing out of the hospital without the machines keeping track of his every move, every breath; but I'm also glad to be home too.  Spending all that time in the hospital has filled me up for a while.

As i type this, Ian is asleep on my arm right now.  Maybe I should be sleeping now too.  I am so tired.  I am still overly alert and watchful over him, but as he gets bigger and more active; I feel better more and more each day. Right now I humbly wait for the time when he'll be able to sleep through the night.  I'll be so excited when that happens.

3 Months

At 3 months old, Mr Ian has been trying to talk back to me.  It's cute, the sounds he makes, even the crying .  He's a funny dude.  Looking at him last night though, I could just tell by the look on his face that he is going to try his hardest to get over on me.  I am praying to God right now for patience in advance, lol.  He gave me some sneaky looking expressions and all I could do is laugh to myself. 

He's started eating baby food and I think he has some of my food aversions.  He loves the fruit though, apricot and mango are his favorites.  He likes the sweet potato and corn mix too.  I'm still waiting for him to sleep through the night though.  The doctor told me that when he gets to 4 months, he'll start sleeping through the night.  It's only a couple of weeks away and yet I don't see it happening.  The most he gives me in a time block of sleep is 3 hours.  It's better than the 1 & 1/2 to 2 hrs he used to hit me with though, so I'll take it.  Can't wait for my first 5hr block. 

His head bobs at my face when I'm holding him sometimes.  I feel like he's trying to eat my face.  His stomach is always on his mind because he must be fed at all times.  Though he's smaller than most kids age (finally making it on the growth curve but barely), I think he is trying to make up for it.  His legs are starting to look like mine, lol.  He's chunky cute.  Most people that see him don't give him more than 6wks old in size.  I've had a few 'newborn' comments, but my little man is growing.  From 3lbs to when he's full grown and towering over me.  Mommy's baby:

Hello World!

I realized that even though this site is for Ian, it is also about me and my voice.  Before having Ian, I was very reserved with sharing my feelings and emotions, whether it be online or in person.  I just didn’t grow up that way.  He deserves better than that from me however, so I promise to be raw and open.  My deep inner thoughts I will share with not only him, but with you as well.

Far removed from my usual writings of erotica and fantasy fiction is where I would say this blog falls, but who knows; maybe some will sneak in from time to time as well.

Some things I will be writing about in this blogs are my Letters to Ian, Recipe Trials, Milestones, How I’m Doing, Blog Strolling, and Baby Product Testings.

I hope you enjoy and welcome to Ian’s Village!