Gift From Simone

I find myself thinking a lot about my cousin who was murdered last year and how much I wish she would be around to meet you, Ian.  Two weeks before I became pregnant, I had a dream that I was in the maternity ward at the hospital visiting Simone.  She had just given birth to a baby boy that looked just like you.  She asked me to take care of the baby because there was no one else to do it.  I thought about it and how there was no one there to help her with the baby.  Everyone else was in Trinidad and she was here in America with me.  I told her I was about to take a trip and I would be back in two weeks, when I got back I would take care of the baby.  She said okay and returned to her hospital bed.

When I woke up, I really did go on a trip and when I came back two weeks later I was pregnant with you.  I strongly believe she brought you to me and I am more grateful to her than you could believe.  I miss her every day.  I wish I could talk to her about you and have her around while you grow, but I guess that will just have to be in spirit, because in flesh it is not to be.

 I feel like you are her son as well as mine sometimes.  With moms like us, you have been birthed with great genes and you will be full of a lot of life, happiness and love.  I truly believe you were her last gift to me too and that you will be greatly blessed.  I don't want to bring you down as you read this, but just know that my heart hurts.  With your birth it's not as despairing, but from time to time it goes there.  Your smile is a bright light and your laughter brings me nothing but extreme happiness.  I know it will only get better with you. 

I can't wait to take you to Trinidad to meet her beautiful kids.  You all will love each other immensely.  I can only hope you will have more time with each other than she and I had.  28years is far too short.